naturalness

i had a good talk with my sister in the car today.
we had just been to my mom's place and were driving back to my apartment.
it was a nice talk. although i hate not being able to help myself from labeling it as a 'family moment' at that point and time. isn't being with family supposed to feel completely and totally natural? since when did i self conciously take special note of it?

i find myself trying so hard to achieve that natural state of familial connection.
but the more you try to make something natural, the more you negate the naturalness of it.

i never used to hug my sister. and now, when she beckons for one and i do, it feels new and awkward. i believe it to be a good sign more than anything else.